I wrote this first post while the kids were away. Just a "how much I miss them" post.
Today, a Sunday. I miss Payton (age 13 almost 14). I miss him the most on Sunday's. I see the other Deacon's passing sacrament and wish he was up there with his friends, fulfilling his priesthood duties. Last week a return missionary spoke about his mission to Africa. What an adventure?! Africa!! And I wish Payton could have heard the young man's testimony and the blessing's he has received by serving a mission. Today's speakers were amazing too. Sister Carter (new to the ward) is one of the performers in the Tuachan's productions this summer, spoke about burdens, and how it is often only when our burden's are at their heaviest that we can move forward. She based her talk on the following.
I have felt my burdens have been great this past few weeks, but with great burdens, we receive great blessings, and the burdens will help us move forward towards those blessings. A lesson I wish Payton could have been here to hear.
I miss my Hadley most in my dreams. I dream of his sweet freckled face and I wish his quiet presence was near. I think of him whenever I see anything frog related including this weekend when I saw a blacked out truck of a Navy Seal (a frog man) with a white frog sticker during out family visit in San Diego this weekend. I couldn't help but think of my frog man, my Hadley.
I miss my Uma anytime I see a little girl, or I enter the east side of the house. Her room smells of her. She is normally my constant sidekick except the few hours a day when she is at school. I miss her every time I see the things I know she would love, like mermaids dolls, puppies and kitties, and playing with her friends, like Lia, Carli, and Ella.
My Foxer, my "little man", I miss his happy morning face, and the way he loves me. He randomly says "I love you mama" and he gives me hugs when I least expect them. He smells me (gives me sniffs) when ever I am near him, like like he is ready to consume me. I miss making him 3 or 4 bowls of cereal each day, and an extra dinner at night. I miss him every time I see anything shark related.
I miss them all, every time I leave the house. Jake and I went to Zion to hike, and we found ourselves picking trails we knew even Uma could hike. And as Jake and I traveled to San Diego this weekend for a family gathering, we both found ourselves saying out loud "this would be more fun if they were here." Jake wishes they had been with him while fishing and while on the beach to play in the water. I wish they would have been there to play in the sand and to take to Sea World. The entire family kept saying "next year, we want them here."
Jake and I will keep using our time wisely. I have house projects to keep me busy, cleaning the messes that the kids have hidden from me in the back of their closets. I have been taking another parenting class, a class I suggested to local counselor, about two months ago, and have been attending for over a month now, a co-parenting class. This class on top of my other class I took this winter, and my BYU family and marriage class from last year help me see the situation for what it is. It's not the end of the world and (the situation) is, what it is. The children will be home soon and we (our family) can be back into our routine of school, church, sports, and family togetherness.
With this new blog I will keep it open for other's to read. I have formed a bit of a support group in St George for other parent's who have to go the summer or a portion of the summer without their children. It's not about divorce or custody, just a place for parents to come help support each other and give ideas on ways to stay connected to their children when they are not under our care and guidance.
I think it will be helpful to post some of my BYU papers as well as my thoughts on raising my loves. I'll post pics as always, slide shows, and video.
We are the Gooniebirds!
No comments:
Post a Comment